Returning to America will be a bittersweet experience. I am thrilled to come back to my family and friends and my own house but at the same time I look back on these past three months and I don't want the fun to end. Our ISA director emailed all of us the other day warning us about something called "reverse culture shock". This is where you experience as much culture shock returning home as you did coming to Spain for the first time. I just assumed I wouldn't experience culture shock going back to America since I have lived there for the past twenty years, but now I understand how it can happen. The director said that our friends and family back home will have changed just as we have, and things will not be the same as when we left. She warned us to be ready for points of intense happiness and points of intense depression upon the return home. I realize that life in America went on without me being there, much to my chagrin, and I know my friends and family will be much different than how I left them. My sorority went through a full round of recruitment without me and now I have an entire class of sisters I haven't even met yet. My girl friends are getting new boyfriends and my best friend from high school even got engaged and is getting married in the Spring. It was a hard to acknowledge the concept that life moves on without me, and I am both excited and nervous to see how much things have changed in my American life when I get back.
Eating breakfast with my host mom this morning she reminded me that I am leaving Sevilla tomorrow, which I had totally forgotten about since I've been so preoccupied with finals. I stopped and started crying with a mouth-full of toast. This place has become my home for the past three months and the ending has hit me like a ton of bricks. I know my host family has hosted hundreds of American students in the past twenty-five years but I still hope I was unique to them and I hope they remember me for years to come. I am returning to Sevilla this summer with my parents, which my host family is very excited about. María has already planned what kind of food she wants to cook when we visit them. Rice with goat cheese, my favorite Sevillan food :) Oh, Mamacita, you know me so well.
To be completely honest, leaving my education internship on Monday was very emotionally difficult for me. I was not expecting to be so taken with these little kindergarteners and it was painful having to say goodbye to all of them, not to mention the professor who I've worked alongside for the past ten weeks. Irene has been a great influence in my Spanish life and I hope her and I remain good friends after I leave. Since it was my last day working in the classroom, all the children put together a book of pictures as a going-away present. To say goodbye, they lined up and one-by-one they came and kissed me on the cheek. This was very interesting because in America usually students don't kiss their professors but I just put this one under the friendly, touchy Spanish culture. After they were done they all came and hug-tackled me to the ground and I thought, "Man, I'm going to miss these tots". It was a pleasure working with them this semester and I believe they taught me just as much as I taught them.
Tonight is my last hoorah with all my friends before we have to say goodbye. We are all going out to dinner at our favorite restaurant in Triana and then going to Calle Betis to get a little Agua de Sevilla, the best drink in Andalusia. I am looking forward to seeing all my friends for the last time and reminiscing about the past three months and all the good times we've had together. We all told each other we wouldn't cry, but there's no guarantees; I know I will. Since this is my last full day in the city I am planning on really embracing the Sevilla nightlife with my friends. I have a final early tomorrow morning but I have taken to heart the idea that when you study abroad, you're not so much here for the "study" part :) When I look back on my study abroad experience I probably won't think of the differences between preterite and imperfect or which books Antonio Machado wrote during Spain's Romantic period. Instead I'll remember how I traveled to twelve different cities, three countries and two continents in the past ninety days and how I found myself in the heart of Andalusia. Sevilla has given me so many wonderful memories and experiences and I know I'll cherish and share my stories for the rest of my life.
Viva Sevilla <3
